


Take It As It Comes

by Kitty_trash



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, First Gay Kiss, First Kiss, Gay, M/M, More angst, Slow Burn, Sorry dudes, not my usual stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-04 22:43:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10291901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitty_trash/pseuds/Kitty_trash
Summary: There is a familiarity that comes with being best friends for years. What happens when that familiarity becomes more? What happens when more is off limits? (Kind of inspired by the scene where Elias matter-of-factly calls Isak gay, and the knowing shrug Jonas gives Isak as an explanation)





	

Jonas and Isak were in front of the tv, laughing and yelling, about to win the campaign they had been working on all weekend long. 

“Yes Isak, to the left, no your other left! He’s the last one!”

Isak finished off the last enemy and threw down his controller, the teams stats displayed on the screen, declaring the two boys victors. 

“YES!” The boys hooted and hollered, play wrestling to congratulate each other on their win. 

Isak’s parents have been away for the weekend and the boys were enjoying having the house to themselves, a party was hosted there the night before, the house still in shambles, beer bottles littering every surface they possibly could, leaving the boys left sitting on the floor. 

“We should probably clean up,” Jonas said, looking around sighing. 

Isak made a dismissive wave at the mess, “Nah, I’m exhausted. Let’s nap.” 

Jonas laughed, “Or I guess we could do that.” 

Isak sauntered into his room, crashing onto his bed with a loud thud, leaving room for Jonas to do the same. The boys have been best friends since middle school so sharing a bed wasn’t uncommon for them, especially on the weekend after big parties. Gaming and napping was kind of the ritual they have grown used to. Isak fell asleep almost instantly, which had been proved to be difficult when Jonas’ even breathing and presence wasn’t available. The bed was a twin size bed, so the boys had to get creative with how they slept. Isak slept facing the wall, Jonas facing the opposite way. Occasionally Isak would wake in the night to find Jonas’ body wrapped around him protectively, arms folded around himself as if not to hold Isak, but his body was curled around Isak’s, his nose falling on top of Isak’s head, tickling the stray hairs there. His knees tucked behind Isak’s bent ones, pressed extremely close, Isak feeling the heaving of Jonas’ chest against his back. So painfully close. 

He awoke that way now, feeling Jonas’ chest on his back, his legs bent into his, pinning him to the wall. He rolled over the best he could, which required quite a bit of effort. Jonas’ face was slack jawed, his mouth hung open, drool crusting onto the corner of his mouth, his light snoring rocking his body to an interesting rhythm. His brow was furrowed, which happened while he had bad dreams. Isak sighed, more often than not he woke up to Jonas having a bad dream he refused to tell Isak about. 

“Jonas,” he whispered, shaking him by the shoulder. 

“Hm,” he grumbled. His breaths came quicker, due to waking to the frightening dream, but Isak knew better. Jonas never fully wakes until his dream finishes, until he’s gasping and whimpering. 

“Jonas, you’re alright. Come back.”

Jonas gasped, opening his eyes which were wild. He scanned the wall behind Isak, then scanned Isak’s face.

“You’re alright, Jonas,” he smiled. 

Jonas sighed, finally coming to himself. He raking his fingers through his hair and over his face. He never lets other people see this in him, see the vulnerability. Isak always has though, whether Jonas wanted him to or not. He looked over at his best friend who was now on his back staring up at the ceiling, a hand under his head, his chest rising and falling in the same comforting rhythm Jonas had known for most of his life. He squinted and sighed, he hated when he started feeling this way. Noticing small things about Isak, his blonde hair growing into waves, his uniquely shaped mouth that was always sporting a smile, his dark, quizzical eyes. He sat up quickly, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, putting his head in his hands. 

“Headache?” 

“Yeah. Hungry, too.” 

“Let’s eat.”

Isak was rummaging something together in the kitchen while Jonas went around with a garbage bag, picking up the empties and crumpled up treats. His mind wandered while he picked up the trash, back to how he felt while waking up, and his recurring dream that has been haunting him since middle school. 

“Food,” Isak hollard from the kitchen. 

Jonas dropped the trash bag with a large clanking noise and joined Isak in the kitchen. They ate in silence, which they did quite often. When they were with each other, silence was comfortable, safe. While Jonas helped clean up Isak asked about Eva. 

“She’s good. It’s good to not have to sneak around anymore.”

Isak nodded, “I bet.” 

They fell into a silence again, and made their way into the living room where they finished cleaning up and put on a movie. It was comical, so every now and then they would laugh and make comments here and there. It was dark out now, so the tv cast a unique glow onto their face. Jonas recognized how the blueish green glow lit up Isak’s smiling face. He leaned towards him subconsciously, laughing and holding his chest. Isak looked over at him, joining in on the laugher. Isak enjoyed how Jonas’ laugh was low, vibrating through him, hitting Isak’s chest in a way that left him breathless. Even with no physical contact Jonas had a way to take his breath  away. Isak lived for these weekends, holed up in his house, his parents away, playing video games and making each other food. It was all so...domestic. The movie finished, the dark credits engulfing the boys in a dull light, hardly enough to see each other in. Their breathing was matched, the in and out of it all lulling Jonas to a near sleep. Suddenly, he felt something fall into his lap. He gasped at the suddenness of it and went to feel it, only to make contact with Isak’s soft curls. He heard the soft snores Isak was making, it seemed as though everything he did was soft, small, and fragile. Jonas was immediately reminded of his dream earlier, pushing those dark thoughts away while trying to find a spot to put his hands, he figured crossed against his chest was the best option. The remote was next to him, which he thanked the gods for as he switched the tv to something that would entertain him. Isak’s warmth was comforting, knowing he was getting some rest was even more comforting. Jonas always worried about his erratic sleep patterns, but couldn’t understand them because it seemed as though all Isak did when Jonas was over was sleep. He looked down at the halo of curls, smiling and chuckling to himself about how ridiculous this must look, but he didn’t dare move. He knew Isak needed the sleep. 

Before the first episode of Narcos was done, Isak stirred. He took in a deep breath and stretched, covering his face with his hands as he did. As if suddenly realizing where he was lying, he shot up into a sitting position. 

“Sorry,” he muttered. 

“Don’t worry about it. Glad you got some rest,” Jonas said, awkwardly. 

Isak didn’t respond, just laid his back against the arm of the couch, crossing his arms over his chest, putting his hood up over his head. They watched the next episode in silence. 

Once finished, Isak asked, “Are you staying here another night, or finally going back to your own bed?”

Jonas smiled, “Whatever. It doesn’t matter to me, both are keen.” 

Isak squinted, looking off for a while, then said, “Well, I am headed to bed then, come if you want. If not, you know how to get home.” 

Jonas rose when Isak did, following him to his bedroom, curling up into their normal positions after checking their phones for a while and sharing memes and laughing over Facebook posts. 

They settled into the familiar silence they both enjoyed. 

“Good night, Jonas.” 

“Night,” Jonas whispered. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isak woke to screaming. He immediately turned to Jonas, “Jonas, wake up,” he whispered, not wanting to frighten him more, “it’s okay. It’s just a dream, wake up.” Isak was now running his hands through Jonas’ hair, trying to wake him gently. He woke slowly, Isak thought he fell back asleep for a moment until he heard the ragged breathing and whimpering. He wrapped his arm around Jonas and hugged him, “It was just a dream, Jonas. Everything is okay. We are all okay.” Isak didn’t know what the dreams were about, but he knew how to calm Jonas down from years of experiencing the aftermath. He remembered the day Eva called him, asking on advice on how to calm him down, he told her to just be there for him, telling him everything was okay, and that everyone was safe. She still couldn’t get him to calm down. 

Jonas’ face was in Isak’s neck, through the ragged breathing he could smell him, really smell him. 

“Isak,” Jonas whimpered. He felt Isak pull back some, trying to give Jonas room to breath, but he wrapped his arms around Isak, pulling him closer. 

“Tell me what I can do,” Isak whispered. 

Jonas thought for a long time, thought about what Isak could do for him. He thought of his dream, images of Isak, bloodied, purple, lifeless. His face in a state of horror as the blood drained from his lifeless body. Flashing to a scene of Isak and Jonas fighting, Isak deciding they could no longer be friends, Jonas feeling alone. Isak’s voice through it all, “It’s okay, everyone is safe,” finally pulling him out of the nightmare of images. He withdrew from Isak’s neck, tears soaking Isak’s skin, making it glisten. He looked up at Isak who was looking down at him, searching for answers, scanning for a way to help. Jonas, in a bold attempt, brought his lips to meet Isak’s. He expected Isak to pull away, for the first encounter to be awkward, but it wasn’t. It was as if they fell into one another. Isak’s hands immediately went to Jonas’ hair, snaking their way into his crazy, dark curls. Their mouths working on one another as if old lovers, saying hello after years apart. Isak tasted so familiar, so safe. He tasted like late night fires and early morning air, crisp and warm all at the same time. Isak’s small moans were enough to bring Jonas over the edge, enough to drive Jonas towards more. Jonas moved his mouth down Isak’s jawline, down his neck where he sucked and bruised him, wanting the reminder in the morning. Isak’s hands were on his back, feeling as the muscles tensed and loosed as he moved down his body. Jonas made his way up to Isak’s earlobe, nibbling and sucking, causing much louder and erotic sounds to escape the smaller boy’s mouth. Jonas couldn’t stand his mouth not being on Isak’s any longer, and returned to the sweet taste immediately, tasting moans on Isak’s mouth being the most erotic taste Jonas has ever experienced. He’s made girls moan, make them whimper with desire but something about Isak’s low gasps and whimpers drove him mad in an extremely different way. 

“Jonas,” Isak whispered as he broke connection, staring into Jonas’ desire filled eyes. He searched for a while, and then flashed the biggest smile, bringing his lips up to meet Jonas’. It was Jonas’ turn to moan as Isak’s tongue explore his bottom lip, biting and sucking, tasting what he has wanted to taste for years. Jonas was breathing heavy now, slightly whimpering as Isak crawled on top of him, throwing his leg over the side of Jonas, straddling him. Isak moaned deeply, feeling Jonas’ hard cock pressed against his own. He trailed kissed down Jonas’ jawline, down his neck, nibbling at his collarbone, sucking. Jonas sucked in air, letting it out with a grown, “No love bites,” he whispered, pulling at Isak’s hair, making Isak moan. He released his bite and hovered over Jonas’ lips. 

“What do you want?” he whispered. 

Jonas was silent for a moment, the only thing between them being the sound of heavy breathing. Isak was ready to move and get off of him, suddenly feeling insecure when he heard, “Kiss me.” 

Isak happily obeyed. Jonas rolled him over onto his back, kissing his mouth, nose, cheeks, forehead, making Isak smile. It was dark in his room but they had both grown accustomed to the darkness by now, making out each other’s features in the glow of darkness. Jonas snaked his fingers through Isak’s, bringing them to his mouth and kissing them one by one. Isak watched him, never wanting to forget this moment. 

“We can’t do this again, can we?” Isak asked softly while Jonas still held his hand. 

He sighed, trying to search for ways he could imagine this working, imagine a world where Isak and him could be together and both be happy. He sighed again, “No, I don’t think so.” 

Isak nodded slowly, accepting that Jonas and him wouldn’t work, not with where they both were now. Him with Eva, and Isak questioning every aspect of who he was. Now was not their time. 

“Roll over,” Jonas demanded.

Isak obeyed, a quizzical look on his face. Once he was settled in he felt an arm go around him, Jonas’ face buried deep into his hair, “You always keep me right,” Jonas whispered. 

Isak, a single tear streaming down his face, smiled, “Is that a Sherlock reference?” 

He felt Jonas’ laugh in every atom of his being, the low, deep vibration of it, “Yes it was. Go to sleep.”

“I don’t want to. Tomorrow will come and this will go,” Isak whispered softly, not wanting to disturb the moment, the peace. 

“Not all of it. Sleep,” Jonas demanded. Isak obeyed, falling into a quick sleep in the arms of which he dreamed of for the rest of the year. 

______________________________________________________________________________

A couple months later Isak found himself at the cabin with Eva and Jonas, asking himself what he did to deserve to be here. When Jonas relayed the news he seemed so excited to have Isak there, how could he refuse? How could he say that he couldn’t bare to hear Eva and Jonas having sex through the walls? He couldn’t, that’s how, which gets him into this predicament. Singing outside of their love nest to excuse the fact that he just walked in on Eva half naked. The rest of the morning was like usual, him and Jonas playing games while Eva seemed disengaged. How, he thought, could she be disengaged? Jonas’ intelligence was enough to keep him interested as they played trivial pursuit. Suddenly there was a loud bang and Jonas went to check it out. Elias. Isak hated Elias. Isak hated who Jonas’ became around Elias, like a whole new person, a person Isak didn’t like. Isak was leaning up against the building when he heard Elias call him gay. 

“Why are you calling me gay?” he asked, looking at Jonas, the only person who could possibly know.

“Because you are,” Elias said matter-of-factly, climbing the steps to get up into the cabin. 

Isak gave Jonas an intense glare. Jonas raised his eyebrows and shrugged, which gave him away completely. He told Elias. Jonas headed inside, Isak following after sighing audibly, to alert Jonas that he knew. He knew everything. 

______________________________________________________________________________

“How could you!” Isak whispered fiercely. 

“I had to talk to someone, Isak!”

“Leave my name out of it!” he retorted. 

Jonas sighed, looking around the room in disbelief, “I couldn’t. I was like a schoolgirl. I wanted someone to know that I got to kiss you. That we kissed and that I enjoyed it and that I wanted more. I couldn’t keep your name out of it, I held your name in for too long.” 

Isak softened to the confession, but kept some guard up. He knew he and Jonas couldn’t be together, not how they would want to be anyway. “I just wish it was Elias,” he glared at the door Elias wasn't sleeping behind. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” he said. 

“What do we do from here?” Isak asked. 

Jonas stepped forward, placing a hand on Isak’s back pulling him in, planting a passionate kiss on his lips, “I don’t know,” he said, rubbing Isak’s cheek with his thumb, “but I can’t stop thinking about you,” he lowered to a whisper. 

“I know. Me too.” 

“We will take it as it comes then,” Jonas proposed.

Isak knew. He knew he would get hurt, he knew this would end badly, he knew that more people may be affected but, right now, with the fire casting an orange glow on Jonas’s skin, the glow reflecting in his pupils giving him a fierce demeanor, Isak nodded, put his hand around the back of Jonas’ neck and pulled him down for a kiss, whispering, “Take it as it comes,” releasing him, and retreating back to his bedroom. That night, he heard Jonas screaming in his sleep, wishing that he was the one laying next to him to comfort him, but knew that it would never be him. A tear slid down his cheek as he silently cried himself into darkness. 


End file.
